I’ve felt it spiraling towards us.
Our fate a certainty.
It’s absoluteness so clear that I firmly believe everyone in America will get their chance.
I got my chance last year when Mr. Right kindly brought it home from work. You didn’t know that because I never told you.
The Pirate got it last year too.
But this year all our friends were getting it. It came closer and closer and then this week The Pixie got it.
The dreaded, week long, it’s inevitable you’re going to get it one of these years, H1N1.
Frankly I think it’s opened up a world of opportunities for me.
For example:
Oh I’m sorry, I can’t volunteer in the pre-school tomorrow… I’ve got the swine flu.
Or.
Oh I’m sorry I was supposed to bring you dinner and I didn’t… I’ve got the swine flu.
Oh I’m sorry I hit your car…I’ve got the swine flu.
Or.
I’m sorry I can’t come to work…
I’m sorry I can’t watch your kids…
I’m sorry I can’t pay my phone bill…
The excuses are endless.
And if your kids end up with it and not you…even better.
I’m sorry I can’t come to church…my kids have the swine flu.
I’m sorry I didn’t answer the phone all day and you had an emergency…my kids have the swine flu.
You could replace “she” with “he” if it works better for your circumstances. I used “she” this week because the girls received it’s coming with an embrace.
Unfortunately The Pixie is now on the up and up. She’s just well enough to wander around complaining. For the first couple of days she barely spoke. She just laid on the kitchen floor with her blanket and babies and sippy-cup.
She barely had energy to get up.
After two days of silence she spoke up,
“Mom, I’m sick and I’m hungry and I don’t know which one to choose.”
Food darling. Always food. It’s the answers to almost all my life problems.
Except, well, not lately.
Food and I have had a run in.
Ironically.
But that’s another post, except it’s not really post material. You’d probably be bored and …well…fine. I’ll tell you right here.
I have an ulcer.
Boooorrrrring.
I had to go to the doctors.
Embaaaaaaressing.
I can’t eat solids for another week.
Which means I’ll be cured just in time to consume mass quantities of hydrogenated fat and high fructose corn syrup during the holidays.
Not even post material I tell you.
Oh. Oh. And by the way,
I’m sorry I didn’t post pictures of our new school…my kids have the swine flu.
