We spent three days in Cannon beach and drove back yesterday.
On a whim Mr. Right took the left turn in Astoria instead of going straight to I-5. And that made all the difference.
We found ourselves on a mammoth bridge crossing the mouth of the Columbia River. Technically HWY 101 is the same distance as I-5 to home.
Technically.
For certain it is stunningly beautific.
The kids watched their movie during the coastal views.
Mr. Right declared that if they didn’t appreciate the pause-your-heart beauty now, then they would all be doomed to marry those who’s jobs required them to spend their lives living in Arizona.
The bugs did not respond. They were wearing headphones.
Then I got hungry.
I had only one bag of Salt & Vinegar potato chips and between you and me: Mr. Right and I were not going to share.
The bugs immediately ignored their movie. They zeroed in on my bag of chips and loudly wailed their hunger pains. Then they declared their hatred of Hwy 101.
Technically the same distance or no, they wanted Home now, and if Home was not immediately available the only condition on which they would lower their vocal volume was if I conceded the bag of chips.
I said, Never! I do not respond to tyranny. However, if you wait fifteen minutes I will give you jelly beans.
The Pirate wanted to know how long fifteen was.
The Princess told him it was three-fives.
After just one-five chaos reigned again so I quickly distributed the jelly beans.
The blacks were shrieked at and promptly returned.
After one more five the rebels began clawing at their buckles. Mr Right said that in no uncertain terms were they to eat these chips.
I gave them one each.
Then, deciding that was not cruel enough, I threw them back a whole box of off-brand Cheeze-Its.
Technically they should taste the same.
Technically.
Like sharks on a bloody morsel they tore at the box and all went quiet.
Not even one-five later The Princess calmly said, “Mom, you should have a purple jelly bean on an off-brand Cheeze-It.”
My gag reflex acted up. No way!
“Why not?”
That is completely gross.
“I KNOW. And That’s what we’ve been eating.”
The box of off-brand Cheeze-Its was thrown back at me.
Not even The Pirate would eat them.
I gave them each a handful of Salt & Vinegar chips and started another movie.