The "pirate-cowboy".The Pirate equipped himself with weapons and challenged me (with pleading eyes) to a duel.
He had a sword and a laser gun that could shoot arrows.
I had my bare hands.
I was no match and after receiving several wounds I transformed into a lion and stalked him while he jumped on the furniture and laughed and squealed.
Still I was susceptible to being wounded and I would whine like an injured cat when he slashed me with his machete.
About my distressing cry of pain he said, "I like dad noise."
But enough was enough so I abandoned my lion form and became a wrestler.
We rolled around on the floor - grunting like burly men would - but not doing much harm.
I landed the final move and pinned him.
The Pirate: Uggghh I'm tuck.
Ha ha ha
The Pirate, gasping: I can't breeeed.
What do you say?
Silence
What do you say?! I demand.
The Pirate: You da mom!
So I released him from my evil clutches and he promptly informed me I was his horse. He had transformed into a cowboy.
We plodded around the frontier for a while (he informed me I was a small horse which made me feel good) until he decided on a location for his homestead. Change that to his Fort.
He instructed me to go to a corner where he brought me feed and then got out his tools to build me a corral.
I think it was a corral.
It had one plastic bolt sticking up in the shaggy carpet, but I felt corralled.
While The Cowboy rustled up some Lego's the Pixie came in.
She came over to me. She looked down at the bolt. She pulled it out and tossed it aside. The cowboy called over his shoulder, "Mom's da horse."
She smiled and climbed on my back.
"No." the Cowboy called, "Mom's my horse."
She slid off and curled up next to me, "I da baby horse." She is the baby everything.
She was so close that I couldn't help myself, I kissed her little cheeks repeatedly with much noise. This disgusted the Cowboy so he claimed it was nighttime and provided us with a pillow and blanket.
He also decided horses must not wear headbands to bed so he removed mine and provided me with a teddy bear.
The lights went out.
I laid there under a blue blanket looking at The Baby Horse.
I heard The Cowboy snoring somewhere.
I heard a rooster vaguely calling "cock-a-doo-da-doo".
The lights turned on.
I heard someone inform me it was daytime and the pillow was pulled from under my head.
When I looked next The Baby Horse has disappeared and The Pixie was clamoring for some Lego's. The Cowboy had transformed back into The Pirate. And I was no longer a horse.
Or a lion.
Or a burly man.
I was, once again, the Queen.
*And lest you're under the impression that I am any fun, I will let you know that Mr. Right far surpasses me in that department. He just doesn't have a blog.