Chewable.
I thought it would be yummy like those big ol' fat, sour vitamin C's Squishy used to give us as rewards.
Guilt-free candy.
So I popped one in and started chomping and immediately thought, "Holy (r@&!! This is supposed to be chewable? What freaky taste buds did this pass muster with? It's disgusting. It's like eating berry flavored Mentholatum."
When Mr. Right came home I made him try it.
Why do they make stuff like that?
One time I had medicine that tasted like cherry flavored ear-wax. It was so gross and I was thinking, "Was the cherry flavor supposed to make it better?"
Unfortunately that vitamin-immune-boosting-wonder-supplement didn't work. I got a cold. I dealt with it fine until it settled in my chest and instead of sleeping at night I spent the dark, ticking minutes coughing.
The next night I thought to myself, "Tonight I'm taking something because I've got to sleep."
By something I meant drugs.
I walked over to my basket brimming with over the counter what-nots which we pretend we never use, but are actually very much addicted to. Don't even get me started on Mr. Right's bedside Afrin collection. I perused my arsenal and made a choice.
I measured out two goopy teaspoons into the plastic cup we usually use for the kids when we're pretending not to give them drugs, and then I drank it.
That tincture was the most vile thing I have ever, ever put in my mouth.
I'm positive it was really toilet bowl cleaner and bile laced with grape flavored liquid soap.
I mean, I'm used to taking expired drugs simply for the thrill of the 'what if...' but this beat all. And it wasn't even expired. I know, because between heaves and sobs I examined the bottle carefully, believing this was my end. I was going to kick it after consuming an expired Guifenison and Dextromethorphan margarita.
Fifteen minutes later, still clawing at my throat and trying to figure out how to get Mr. Right to try some, I had a flash of memory:
Two days prior, The Princess had come to me with pleading in her eyes, "Mom, I can't stop coughing."
With her hacking behind me I walked over to our brimming basket and pulled out a virgin Guifenison Dextromethorphan margarita. When I turned to her with the little plastic cup in one hand and the ill-boding bottle in the other, my intentions became clear. Her eyes got big and she backed up against the wall.
"No mom. Please. No. NO! Don't make me do it!"
"Princess, it's not that bad. You had some yesterday."
"It IS that bad. If only you tasted it you would know. It's horrible!!!" And she was gone in a blur of blond hair and pink clothing and screaming. And coughing.
End of flash.
OOOOooooohhhhhh...I am a bad mommy.
So here's the moral of the story:
If you're going to resort to using either: over the counter drugs OR a hokey-pokey home remedy on you or your beloved little ones, may I suggest trying it out on your spouse first?
Just a suggestion.